THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR PATTERNS

Why You Keep Getting the Same Results And How to Break the Cycle

INTRODUCTION  LET’S BE HONEST FOR A SECOND

You’re not broken.

You’re not unmotivated.

You’re not “bad at discipline.”

You’re running patterns.

Patterns you didn’t consciously choose… !

(IF you educate yourself in this, you will take FULL control!!)

Patterns that shape your decisions, your habits, your reactions and ultimately, your results.

And the most confronting part?

Your patterns decide your life more than your goals ever will.

But here’s the good news:

Patterns can be rebuilt!Rewired!Replaced!

And that’s exactly what we’re going to unpack today.

This isn’t motivation.

This is biology, psychology, and identity, brought into real-life language you can actually use.

THE JOURNEY HOW YOUR PATTERNS WERE BUILT WITHOUT YOU KNOWING

STEP 1  The Pattern Wasn’t “Chosen”… It Was Learned

When you were younger, your nervous system made decisions for you:

-          How to avoid discomfort

-          How to seek safety

-          How to get approval

-          How to minimize conflict

-          How to escape stress

You didn’t choose these.Your brain simply said:“This works. Let’s repeat it.”

This is where the first unconscious patterns appeared:

-          The procrastination loop

-          The avoidance strategy

-          The overthinking spiral

-          The validation addiction

-          The chaos–comfort cycle

-          The emotional numb → binge → regret loop

Your brain wasn’t trying to sabotage you.

It was trying to protect you.

But protection from discomfort becomes the prison of adulthood.

STEP 2 Repetition Became Identity

Your brain loves efficiency.

If you repeat something enough, the brain labels it:

“This is who we are now.”

Not because it’s “you.”But because it’s familiar.

So if for 10+ years you repeated:

-          Stress → scrolling

-          Tired → sugar

-          Anxiety → isolation

-          Pressure → self-doubt

-          Boredom → stimulation

-          Uncertainty → avoidance

Your identity becomes a reflection of the pattern, not the truth.

And suddenly you say things like:

-          “I’m just not disciplined.”

-          “I always fall off.”

-          “I know what to do but I don’t do it.”

-          “This is just who I am.”

No.

This is just the program you’ve been running.

STEP 3  The Pattern Protects Itself (and fights back)

Here’s the part most people miss:

Your patterns defend themselves.

They will fight you…. Hard!! …. the moment you try to change.

Why?

Because change = uncertainty.Uncertainty = threat.Threat = danger.

So your mind will throw:

-          excuses

-          distractions

-          cravings

-          doubts

-          emotional spikes

-          “I’ll start tomorrow”

-          “It doesn’t matter today”

-          “This is too much”

Not because you’re weak…but because your brain is trying to keep you in the old identity.

Patterns are comfortable.

Growth is not.

THE SHIFT 

REALISING YOU’RE NOT THE PROBLEM… THE PATTERN IS

Now here’s where most people have their “holy shit” moment:

It’s not you. It’s the system you’re running. And systems can be rewritten.

When you understand this, shame dissolves.

You stop fighting yourself.

You stop thinking you need more motivation or willpower.

You realise you just need a new pattern and the structure to repeat it long enough.

This is where transformation actually begins.

THE HOW  HOW TO BREAK A PATTERN AND BUILD A NEW ONE

No fluff.

No theory.

Here’s the exact blueprint I use with high performers, clients, and myself.

1. Awareness: Catch the Pattern in Real Time

Ask yourself:

“What do I do when I feel…?”

Observe your automatic reactions to:

-          stress

-          boredom

-          pressure

-          uncertainty

-          loneliness

-          fatigue

-          discomfort

-          rejection

Awareness is 80% of the change.

You cannot change a pattern you don’t see.

2. Interrupt: Break the Loop Within 5 Seconds

Do something physical to interrupt the autopilot:

-          Stand up

-          Walk

-          Drink water

-          Breathe

-          Change room

-          Stretch

-          Shake off your body

You are teaching your brain:

“We don’t obey this program anymore.”

3. Replace: Insert a Better Micro-Action

Your brain can’t delete patterns, it can only overwrite them.

Replace:

-          scrolling → 10 deep breaths

-          emotional eating → 1-minute pause

-          avoidance → 2-minute action

-          overthinking → write down the next step

-          stress → 10 push-ups / quick walk / posture reset

-          self-doubt → “What’s my job right now?”

These micro-actions break the neurological loop.

4. Anchor: Repeat for 7–14 Days

Repetition is identity.

Identity becomes the new pattern.

The new pattern becomes your new baseline.

This is where structure, accountability, and daily systems become non-negotiable.

5. Identity Shift: Act Like the Person You’re Becoming

Your brain doesn’t change when you “feel ready.”It changes when you behave differently consistently.

Ask yourself daily:

“What would the future me do next?”

Then do that, not what your pattern wants.

THE TRUTH YOU NEED TO HEAR

Your patterns are not permanent.

Your behaviors are not your destiny.

Your automatic reactions are not who you are.

You can rebuild everything:

-          your discipline

-          your focus

-          your habits

-          your emotional responses

-          your self-respect

-          your identity

-          your results

But only when you stop lying to yourself about the pattern.

This part will sting, but it needs to:

What you are not changing, you are choosing.

And most people choose comfort over change, every single day.

You don’t have to.

GROUNDING REFLECTION  Read This Slowly

Take a breath.

Put your feet on the floor.

Relax your shoulders.

Ask yourself:

-          “Where am I repeating a pattern I know is holding me back?”

-          “What emotion triggers it?”

-          “What does the pattern try to protect me from?”

-          “What tiny action could I use to interrupt it?”

-          “If I didn’t follow this pattern anymore… who would I become?”

You’re closer to the new you than you think.

Because awareness is the first step and you’re already here.

JUST A NUDGE

You don’t need a whole new life to change.

You need one moment where you decide:

“I’m done repeating this version of myself.”

Start today.

Interrupt the loop.

Choose the identity you want to embody.

Because your patterns should follow you, not the other way around.

- Sjoerd